


On the Edge

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Star Wars Rewrites — Backstory [11]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Ben Solo Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo's Fall, Community: trope_bingo, Creepy Snoke (Star Wars), Gen, Kylo Ren Backstory, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo if you squint, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 01:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13260957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben makes a critical choice.





	On the Edge

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Loss of Innocence
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It couldn’t be. He couldn’t be Vader’s grandson. Even in all his wrongness, he couldn’t be that...  
  
And yet it all made  _sense._ No wonder he felt like he didn’t belong, no wonder he thought he stood out. It all made sense. He was Vader’s grandson. Vader's grandson, of all the things that you thought that you could be. He never thought that he could be the grandson to one of the most notorious monsters in history.   
  
Like finding out you were descended from Palpatine. Or Tarkin.   
  
It would have been easy to say that Casterfo — the  _bastard_ — was just saying this to discredit his mother. But then his mother confirmed it...  
  
Was that why she kept it from him all these years? Just to wield some sort of power over him? Just to make sure that he felt like he was nothing, felt like he was worthless all along.   
  
“I hate you.”   
  
No answer.   
  
“I  _hate_ you!” Ben shouted, and the forests echoed it back to him:  _you, you, you._  
  
The forests were right on the credits. It was all him. It was his fault.   
  
Footsteps. Ben drew his lightsaber —  
  
— only for Snoke to appear. He wasn’t wearing that disgustingly garish gold robe this time. He was wearing black. Appropriate, Ben thought. He looked almost like an energy vampire from one of those holos that Poe was fond of.   
  
“You don’t need that,” Snoke said, “Ben.”  
  
“Get away from me,” Ben said.   
  
"I was hoping,” Snoke said. “We could begin to have a civilized conversation.” He sat down on one of the rocks. “Come, Ben. Let us talk.”  
  
Ben didn’t move. Then he found himself all but yanked forward with the Force, like some invisible hand had grabbed him.   
  
“How did you do that?” he said.   
  
“Nothing is impossible with the Force,” Snoke said. “There are various and sundry things that it can do, though I prefer not to use them on you right now. Not when we can at least speak as equals, not enemies.”  
  
“Equals, my eye,” Ben snapped. “You’re still a monster.”  
  
Silence. Then, “I was much like you are now, Ben. Conflicted, confused, afraid. Feeling like I was the exception. You’re too familiar with it, aren’t you?”  
  
“We’re nothing alike.”  
  
“We have our similarities. Don’t be so quick to say otherwise.”  
  
“I’m not evil.”  
  
Snoke paused. Then, “What is evil, I wonder, Ben? Is it evil, what we’re trying to do? We’re trying to restore order, true order, to the galaxy and balance to the Force. Nothing evil about that. Maybe in your uncle’s eyes there is, but not in mine. We are what the Force demanded we be, Ben Solo. No more, no less.”  
  
“How?”  
  
Snoke’s voice was soft. “Feel as I feel, see as I see, and from there, perhaps you will understand.”  
  
Ben did. And it was then that he saw. And so much of it was like what he saw now. The corruption. The lack of compassion. Everything. Too much of it rang true.   
  
Snoke had seen all of it. That was why he left. He investigated the Force, only to fall. (“My eyes were opened,” as Snoke put it) Yoda tracked him down. Gave him those scars. And so for years Snoke has hidden in the Unknown Regions, building up his new Order, making it solid.   
  
“That’s what I want,” Snoke said. “Order. Peace. Perhaps you could join me, and so you could understand. You could belong.”  
  
Even that idea...  
  
He couldn’t betray his uncle. And yet the idea of belonging, of bringing balance...that was too wonderful to be logical. For Poe, for so many others.   
  
Slowly, Ben nodded.   
  
“Excellent. It is in your best interests, you know.”   
  
And Ben couldn’t help but feel, in this moment, like he was changing everything. 


End file.
